I knew that before long, I would end up back in the same way that I was. My emotions, my actions, and all of my heartache that have kept me bound by sin, are all back again. I have shut myself out and now I am just begging to be held. I want so bad to answer with the truth when someone ask me if I am okay, instead of faking it again...
I don't think people like the Brittney that is real, they would rather it be fake with a smile then to see what is really going on. I don't want to be a bother to people, and I think that by letting people in, that is what it means, bothering people.
So bad I want to be able to smile for real, be happy for once, and find joy in the things that used to bring it to me. Now I just sit and wait for something to happen, and it never does. I am tired of waiting, and tired of hurting. I am ready to shut down forever.
I have lost my focus, and need to rekindle it, God only you can do this. Help me...
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